Wednesday, May 25, 2005

4 Walls

When we first arrived in Arizona for Braden's 5 week treatment plan the hotel room was small but okay. After 2 1/2 weeks I swears the walls are shrinking in on us.

I love my hubby and kids dearly, but 24/7 is getting too me. I am grateful that Matt's job allows him to work basically anywhere high speed internet is. But, I am either taking the kids out of the hotel so he can work without having to hush us while he is on a conference call, or I am taking Braden to clinic, or all of us are getting out in the evening. Basically 24/7 togetherness. I love parts of it but I am not afraid to admit I need some ME time.

Matt would watch them and let me run to look around a store or something but being so far from home I am not 100% comfortable off by myself. Silly but I feel better exploring even if it is just the kids with me rather than me by myself. The kids and I are having fun when it isn't clinic days, and this whole thing has brought Matt and I closer in ways, but still these 4 walls are really starting to get to me.

A lot of it is I am homesick I want my house, my friends, my dog and the ability to say hey I am running so and so be back in an hour, or even the ability to go into the bedroom and SHUT the door (something I can't do here) and just be with me.